Today’s discussion is pretty important as it deals with the types of transactions we have with people. It gets complicated though, as the recipient of any of our words or actions can take them the wrong way and make accusations of us that are totally unfair.
We’ll start with the first half… when we find ourselves at odds with another person regarding any issue, maturity would have us in a discussion where we honestly attempted to see the point of view of another. Two parties living in useful discussion with the option to choose side A or side B or to agree to disagree and still treat each other with decency at the end of the discussion. I have many I can thank ofr these types of interactions!!
Unfortunately we seldom live in an ideal world. The passive aggressive nature of our world ends up in some level of either anger that gets expressed or some level of passivity that just tries to avoid the situation now and in the future. so , as much as there is a recognition that the two extremes above should not be, the real issue is the issue going on in our heart as the behavior gets carried out.
Am I the type of person who can face someone who sees things differently than me without attacking their character and resorting to name-calling, belittling, gossiping etc? Also can I face that without just running away. Maybe if my viewpoint can’t withstand any scrutiny, it’s possible my viewpoint needs to be explored, maybe I’m holding on to something I shouldn’t?
The real question is about the issue going on inside of me. It reminds me of the line “If I’m right, I don’t need a defense, if I’m wrong, I don’t have one.” For me this is an issue of standing in right relationship with God. His word informs me of His perspective on everything I need to know about life. I form convictions based on his truth and not cultural opinion, and in the end there are a lot of people who disagree with God, and God gets to be the judge of all that. As a Pastor, God expects me to tell people the truth in as loving a way as possible, but in the end the Bible says people hate the light and love the darkness.
This is the tricky part of the secondary issue raised at the beginning. Jesus truth telling upset the status quo and got him in so much trouble that they killed him. Jesus wasn’t avoiding telling the truth because he knew he would make people feel bad. He told Nicodemus that his birth name and all the stock he put into that wasn’t enough, he needed to be born again, born of the Spirit. He told the rich young ruler to go sell everything he had, that young man went away sad, he was ever going to do that. Jesus was willing to point out enough truth to make people hate him vehemently, read Matthew 23. Consider how deep under their skin Jesus went as he pointed out issue after issue after issue.
The difference between him doing the things he did and us doing the things we do is that Jesus did these things out of love because he was hoping for some life change if people would interact with the truth. We lash out or hide in a response to our anger or rejection or a desire for power over, control, validation. Our behaviors come from intent. Jesus intent in these circumstances came from wholeness, our intent tends to come from emptiness, thus the radical difference.
I pray we learn to love people well. I pray we learn that the response to loving well won’t always produce the result you think it might. I pray that our reaction to the reaction would always be God honoring as well. People get to gossip about me all they want, I don’t get to gossip back. Eye for eye seems reasonable, but eye for prayer is what we get! Enjoy?!?!
Truth, Grace, and Time 